Oh my! the stage of contemplation! It is a tough one. This is most likely a time when using simply is not fun anymore. As a matter a fact, it is greatly interfering with life as you know it.
Let’s look at some common scenarios and see if any look familiar to you:
People are beginning to call you out on your addiction. You laugh it off, but deep down, you know they are right. You react in anger, denial and isolation. You might argue that you can quit anytime you want. You may justify by saying, you don’t use every day and therefore cannot possibly be an addict.
You hide your addiction to get everyone off your back. If they don’t see you use, it doesn’t count. You become an expert at finding clever ways to hide or disguise your stash. I know people that hide things in fake flower pots outside, the closet, the toilet, their car, in cut out books. I think the favorite is hiding it in plain sight. Nobody will guess that this water bottle is filled with Vodka, Right? Drinking out of a coffee cup is not fooling anyone either.
You are not only hiding things, but you have suddenly become an habitual liar. You lie all the time! You look loved ones straight in the eye and tell them with the sincerest tone, that you are not using. Here is the problem with a lying addict, they cannot remember their lies. They are one black out or pass out away from not remembering entire days and events.How can you possibly remember all those little lies you keep telling? You can’t. It will catch up with you and when it does, things are going to take a swing in the wrong direction. People are going to stop believing in you and this will take yet another downward spiraling effect on your life.
Ok, So, you are lying, your hiding things and your losing credibility with people. Not to mention, you are experiencing blackouts, you feel and look terrible and the effects of the addiction are closing in on you. What could possibly happen next?
Let’s have a look at the probabilities:
You could lose your job.
You could lose financial security which could cause you to lose your home and your belongings.
Your marriage or relationship could fail, leaving you with major changes at a time of weakness. A move, separation from children and legal fees.
You could get arrested and spend time in prison for using, dealing or harming someone.
Your health could fail, leaving you with life threatening chronic illness or even resulting in death.
Not a promising picture, I know. But know this, if one or, all of these things have happened or are about to happen, you can overcome it! This is what rock bottom can look like. Consider it a solid foundation to rebuild on. You have just taken the first step. You are coming to the realization that you do have a problem, you do need help and you are seeking out ways to get it. Congratulations and welcome to Recovery.